Friday, April 18, 2014

What's the Plan?

A friend posted this picture on Facebook the other day. I laughed out loud when I saw it because I can completely identify. I have spent a good part of the last nine months in that same spot as the guy in the boat. I am down in the pit, stuck in the water, and I don't even seem to have a paddle with which to propel myself in any direction and it appears that if I did, I would just meet slippery slope on either side. How am I ever going to move myself forward or dig myself out???

I know I am supposed to trust God and his plan for my life. "11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) I understand this with my head and with my heart, but being an extreme planner and a bit of a control freak, it is hard to just sit still with this and not want to go, go, go, and do, do, do. 

I recently heard Rick Warren (author of The Purpose Driven Life) on The View of all places saying that when we pray the Lord's Prayer we should really focus on the part that says, "Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven." God's will is always done in heaven, but rarely on earth. We humans always want to have our hands in the pie. 

I know I am supposed to be still and not to worry.... just rest in the Lord. Yet my ego seems to get in the way often. I am a doer, a planner, a move forward at all costs kind of person. I am rarely still and telling me not to worry is like telling the sun not to rise in the east. My life verse has always been Philippians 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.(NIV) I know these things. I can do these things. I have been praying and petitioning for days now.

I am about to go to an interview as an instructional coach for a local school district for their virtual academy. I would be lying if I didn't say that I want this job so badly! I have been searching for a long time. Mostly since July when I the teaching assistant job I was doing online was eliminated. I loved teaching online. I just love being an educator. It is not that I am not thankful for my housecleaning business. It has sustained us for almost 12 years now. But I am so ready to get back into education full time again. I am teacher at heart. I was that nerdy kid that did my homework first thing every afternoon and wanted to play school with my friends instead of playing games or running around outside. 

In my typical thought patterns,  I always think what would Elizabeth Gilbert do in this situation. She would pray or actually meditate. I have not even begun to attempt meditation yet, but prayer is second nature. Ever since one of my old camp instructors reminded me years ago that God is always with us. We don't need to pray, "God be with us." We can pray, "Thank you God for always being near, or Help us to really feel your presence." Prayer for me is a constant inner dialog or conversation with God. I have been talking non-stop to God since Tuesday morning when I received the call for the interview. 

The other thing Liz Gilbert would do is to actually write out her prayer. In Chapter 14 Eat, Pray, Love, she wrote about writing out an actual prayer to God to help in the resolution of her divorce. She and her friend the "signed it" in their hearts. 

Here is my prayer: 

Dear God,

I know I don't have to tell you how much I really want this instructional coach position, but I am going to say it again anyway. With that being said, I must also say that I want your will to be done in my life. Whatever the outcome of this interview, I will continue to try to walk the path that you have for my life. But I do believe that I am perfectly suited for this job. I am a teacher's teacher. I want to continue to serve you, by serving others. This is a job where I can use all the previous experiences in my life to help others to learn and grow and be their best selves. I also believe that I will learn and grow in the process of  helping these teachers. I have the heart of a teacher and want to share that with others. If it is truly your will that I land this job, please give me the right words to say in there. Make my heart calm and really let me feel your presence. I know you will be right beside me. I thank you for all that I have gone through up to this point even though the last year or so has really been a struggle. I know it has all made me stronger. You only have my best interests in mind. Thank you for loving me and guiding me. 


I have signed this in my heart and I am sure my readers will too. I can think of all of those friends and family who have sent me texts, Facebook messages, calls and hugs. I am truly a blessed soul!

Off I go...

1 comment:

  1. Hi Heather! I hope it went well, and I'll continue to pray for you!