Sunday, August 28, 2011
A Psychic Experience
In keeping with the seeking and the searching and the reading of Eat, Pray, Love, I had been thinking for a while that I wanted to see a psychic. I was scared and curious all at the same time. The upbringing voice in my head told me maybe I ought not to meddle in such things, but the seeking voice wanted to see what it might be about for me.
I told my guy about it. (My guy is yet another subject for another blog....) He found someone in the Yellow Pages online and began texting her, and over a period of about two weeks in which we made and cancelled and rescheduled appointments, we finally went to see her yesterday.
I had some questions on which I wanted some insight, but I was still pretty nervous, until I walked into her office. She looked like us. She didn't have strangely styled or colored hair or clothing. She almost could have been someone in my family; she just was part of my world and reality of people. I felt at ease.
I asked my guy to be there with me because you know how when you go to the doctor and he has to tell you something important you want a second set of ears to listen in case the doctor says a word like cancer and then that is the only word you heard the whole time? Well that was partly what I was afraid of happening. I wanted someone else there that could hear what I heard, although as you will see, my guy heard differently than me because I had my own internal dialog and work that I have been doing.
Anyway, the psychic, sat us down and asked me what I was curious about learning. I told her, but I am not ready to tell my readers just yet. The reason for the suspense is that it ended up being so detailed and covered several different topics that I want to write about each of them individually. I promise to keep writing about this. It is also a lot to process and I am a supreme processor, so some things I am actually not ready to share with the Internet!
She closed her eyes and said that she needed to tap into my energies. After a bit, she opened her eyes and said those that needed to be here were here. She said my energies were like a waiting room. Sometimes for people they appear as a board room or board of directors. I found it interesting that for me she said a waiting room because I would not need or want a group of people to direct me. She followed up the waiting room with the reason. She said they were in a waiting room because they don't always know what to say to give guidance or how to help. All I need to do from now on is to sit down and be quiet; they are there for me and whatever I hear or say first is what I should go with. When I second guess, is when it changes. I thought this was also very me. I do know that normally I should go with my gut. I find that if I start second guessing myself that is when I often times get into trouble. I also know that I am not good at asking others for help and often times it leaves my loved ones feeling helpless and in a holding pattern.
Throughout the session, she answered my other questions of which there were three main ones. After the first question was answered or explored, she asked if it was settled and the energy with which she was communicating said that it was. Just as she was about to begin with the second topic, she paused and said there was a grandmother that had something to say. She said this particular energy just piped up and wanted to let me know, "That I was doing a great job with the kids," at which point, I burst into tears!
I had already been crying some, but that just turned the flow to high! My mom's mom, whom I had lived with my first year of life, was so that woman who would just stand up and say what she had to say. Nothing else, just the one thing and then off she went to be a part of the collective. I have no doubt that Wanda stood up, said her peace, and sat back down. When I told my mom about this she, too, burst into tears. She said, "I could just see her saying, 'you tell that girl that she is a great mother!'"
For the other parts, different energies were speaking to my psychic. She said a couple of names had come to her, but others were just like a collective group. The grandmother that spoke up didn't wait for identification as to whose side of the family she was on, but I didn't need to have authentication. I knew immediately that would be Wanda.
For my first question, it was someone named Gordon. Today I found out who Gordon is, and I will share that story soon.
Another name, George, came up and she said that he didn't really have anything to say and he didn't say who he was, but just wanted his presence to be known. I picked up on the letter G myself. When I told my mom about this, she said of course, my grandfather Fred, her dad, who also raised me my first year of life, had the middle name of George. I had always just thought his middle name was G, just the letter G. Mom said it was George after his own dad, but he never wanted to acknowledge the name because his father had not been very good. Apparently George had been an alcoholic and had left the family when Fred was in sixth grade. That was why Fred never finished school, having to quit at the sixth grade and start supporting his mom and sister. My mom said it would be just like Fred G to be quiet like the George energy and just let his presence be known behind the scenes. I wrote in my Father's Day blog how much this particular grandfather means to me. I am very touched that he was there and confirmed what I have always known: that he is there every single day.
The final two parts of my session were not name or individual specific. She said it was like the collection of all the souls, or spirits, or energies were speaking as one. They said at any point I can ask anything and to trust my intuition.
My guy said to him it seemed vague, but I could see how that would be and it only confirms to me that the psychic was really tapped into me and my energies. The entire time I was having internal dialog with myself. I knew of what she was speaking each time. There was never a feeling of vagueness or well, that's not quite right. I always knew that she was tapped into my energies. This was not a fraud. This was not a fake. She was really communicating with them to me and through me.
I left there feeling like I know what to do next. I feel assured and very much not alone. She never told me what to do or exactly what my future holds because she can't and honestly that wasn't what I was looking for. There is still free will and no one or no thing can know the future, but I can know and do know that I am always surrounded by those that I love, living or passed on. I feel more spiritually connected rather than less or that I did something wrong, more assured in my beliefs in God, and the world which we cannot see but is there because we believe it is there, and because we exercise faith. It is a world of grace and love. And I am grateful to God that I was allowed a glimpse.