Sunday, August 14, 2011

Taking the Long Way

One time when we were visiting my cousin and other family in South Dakota, we drove up to see her house in Minnesota. On the way there, we were listening to some of the Dixie Chicks music. Ready to Run came on and my sister, the one we used to call the Dismisser because she had a knack for dismissing guys quickly if they showed any red flags, said, "This is my theme song!" We all laughed.

 I said, "I think mine would be Wide Open Spaces," to which the other two nodded because I am so fiercely independent.

My cousin, who was going through her divorce at the time, said, "Mine is Goodbye Earl!" We all laughed together over the joke. Even though we didn't kill her soon-to-be ex-husband, we had certainly thought about causing him harm since he had hurt our beloved so much.

I know they are controversial at times, but the Dixie Chicks write music with which I can identify. I love their blended harmonies, the fact that they play their own instruments, write most of their own songs, and live life on their own terms, not on the terms of what men tell them to do. While I still love Wide Open Spaces, I feel more that my theme song for the last at least six years has been Taking the Long Way.

Taking the Long Way seems to be what I do these days, and really for most of my life. I am not one to do it like everybody else for sure. I am often at odds with the establishment, especially if that establishment involves men trying to tell me what to do and think and feel. I don't hate men, but I do have trouble with patriarchal thinking.

My favorite part of the song is the bridge where they sing, "Well I never seem to do it like anybody else. Maybe someday, someday I'm gonna settle down. But if you ever want to find me, I can still be found, taking the long way, taking the long way around."

That really is me. I have definitely not followed the path of everybody else in my marriage, my career, how I raise my kids, or even how I am as a single mom. I can't seem to find it in me to settle down and have a traditional relationship like everyone says I am supposed to do. Even though I like rules and guidelines, sometimes, I make up my own rules and guidelines for my own life. I really am overly independent and do not love it when others tell me what to do or that what I am doing is wrong or not the way they would do it. I have had guys leave me because of my independent streak, and that is ok with me because it won't work if a person doesn't love you and accept you for who you are. Not to say that at the time of said leaving, it was not painful. In another of their songs, the Dixie Chicks do say that "Time heals everything," which does end up being true in the long run.

Yesterday I turned 41. I had my big 4-0 last year. I find myself in this life now feeling fairly content and at peace. I have my house, my kids, my business and other assundry jobs that all add up to get the bills paid and have a little left over. I feel happy with using Love and Logic with the kids as it keeps us all generally calm. I even bought a newer car recently, so I don't have to worry about breaking down in the old one so much. The kids are about to start new school years, for which they are actually excited. The circle and the cycle continue. I have definitely come out on the better side from all that pain and misery of six years ago. It was not easy, but I kept moving forward, kept trusting in God, and of course, took the long way around!


  1. WOW that was a great blog. And you are so right you should not be with anyone who does not exept you for who you are i learned that the hard way. There was this fantastic guy who liked me for me but on the other hand there was a really great looking guy who asked me out but did not like me for me, because a few years ago i use to be quit and let people walk all over me but my mom has always told me that don't let them because in the long run they will respect you for you and not the people pleaser. My favorite dixie chicks is not ready to make nice it has such a strong message that i belive that everyone has felt.

    yours truly,

  2. Thank you Sara for your comments. It means a lot to me that they are touching to you.