Changing my Mindset

I really missed him badly on Thursday. I had to take the day off from work to have a new furnace installed in my house, so I'm wasn't distracted by the busy-ness of teaching students all day. He's actually out of town, so the desire to ask him to lunch wouldn't have worked anyway. But I do miss my friend these days. I would love to call him up and invite him to a movie or just some down time together. There's a movie out now that I know we would both like to see. I just don't think these things are possible anymore. He says he wants to be friends no matter what happens, but being handed the friend card is a different kind of friendship than what we shared before.

What do I not yet know about myself or what have I not yet learned? I think I'm just going through the grief process, which would be normal, right? I still feel so undecided about what I would like to have happen.

On one hand, I totally get that if someone doesn't want to be with me, then I shouldn't want to be with that person either. I am sure in time, I could find someone with whom I might want to spend some time. I'm not sure that I feel willing at this point to ever put myself totally out there again, but maybe that part of me will heal eventually. I know he's busy with work and travel and taking care of his own children, but in the past we have always been able to come to some sort of a balance with all of these things. I shouldn't want to be with someone who really doesn't have the time or desire to make the time for me. I think it really comes down to I exhausted him to the point of overwhelming-ness. The writing has been on the wall. He has said, "I'm not that guy," and "You should find someone else." Clearly I should really move on, but I feel so stuck at wanting to at least try to make things be better.

But what if we tried to make things better? Would we eventually just fall into our same old behavior patterns? Are our personalities so unchangeable that change really cannot ever be possible? What if both people worked really hard to try to pave a new path? What if 70% happy is the best we can hope for? I still think it's not that horrible. I could live with the 70% I used to have: the familiarity, the comfortableness of knowing what he would most likely do or say. Even if I didn't always like everything, at least it was only 30% undesirable. I think knowing what I know now, I could do that. I might be willing to go back to our relationship before he asked me what I wanted, and I replied, and then it seemed to all fall apart.

But should I want someone who can't even commit to the small things I asked for? I didn't feel like it was that much, but there are times now when I wish I would have kept my thoughts to myself. Right now I miss my friend so much that I really would be willing to just go back to where we were in January and hit the reset button. I know I don't need a man to be complete or whole or anything like Jerry Maguire told us, but it's nice to have a person to turn to and share things with. It's nice to have a standing date to some things or to get to go to special places with the same person each time so that you are building that memory bank.

Again, we're not talking about the worst person in the world here. He's overall a very nice and decent human being. He's not a beater, a cheater, or a substance abuser. He tries to compliment me all the time. I'm the one who doesn't receive them well. What if it really is me? What if by saying what I wanted, I set some stupidly high expectation that he had no chance of ever meeting because it just wasn't in his realm of possibilities. At the end of the day, I can live with going back to a happier time and relaxing into what I know and enjoy. I don't have to be more connected to him or more a part of his life, and I certainly don't need a ring to enjoy his company or to enjoy spending time with him. I just want peace and to not feel so sad all the time.

My teaching teammate recently put up a bulletin board about changing your mindset. He had the first 9 up there on the window, but said he needed one more to fill the last spot because it looked empty. I thought of the "I'm Stuck" one. What I had in mind was a student who had emailed me about an assignment and said she was stuck on completing a map. My response to her was "What did you do to try to solve your own problem?" I mean, these kids have unlimited access to information all the time. It's not like when I was a kid, and we all shared the one set of encyclopedias that one neighbor had. Then I started thinking of my own situation of feeling stuck. When I went back into work on Friday, he had put up the last one and his version of the new mindset, "I can problem solve to overcome my challenges," was perfect. So what else can I try to overcome this challenge of not knowing what to do or to fix what has gone wrong, if that's even a possibility. In other words, is there something different I can do?

You know, so much of life is perception. I certainly have my perception of how things have gone, but he has his own perception, which I think is very different from mine. One friend said, "Maybe he will get his head out of his ass," and things will get back to where they used to be. But what if it's me who could get my head out of where it doesn't belong? Maybe to him this has just looked like a 3 to 5 month long panic attack where the harder I have tried to fix things, the more I have become obsessed with it. What if that obsessive anxiety-driven need to make it better has really made it worse? You know how when your children have a temper tantrum, the best thing to do is let them just have the tantrum while you ignore it because then it will just run its course, and you can talk later when you're both calmer? Maybe that's what I need to do. I've had my time to get out the crazy and now that we have both have had time to let things be calm and apart, we can try to figure out a new way to move forward??

All of this is just hypothetical at this point. I still really haven't spoken to him in a week or more. We had a brief email exchange about something business/teaching related, but I didn't mention anything personal. I am just trying to honor that space he has asked for. I know many of you are still going to say I shouldn't settle, and I completely love you for saying and thinking so. I am not thinking of it as settling though. I am thinking of working the problem. If after trying a new mindset, things are irretrievably broken, then we could move on. I get that the risk here is that there could be more pain later on, but maybe I would feel like there was some effort on my part. Again, he might have already completely kicked me to the curb, especially because I have made this public, so then you can all start setting me up with whomever you would think might be willing to put up with my brand of crazy because there is no way I trust me to choose for myself!

Follow-Up to Questions

I have been wanting to get back to blogging for a long time now, but I wasn't expecting it to be several posts within a couple of days. I have had such an outpouring of support and love from all of you; I felt like I needed to write a follow up post.

First, I want to thank those of you who have commented on the blog, on Facebook, sent me texts, and Messengers. I have seen some of you in person and have received nothing but love. I can't even tell you how much all of that means to me. You are all so important and special to me in so many ways. I have heard from people I haven't seen in years to people I just saw today. I feel truly blessed to be surrounded by such an amazing plethora of love and encouragement.

I love that you have all turned into cheerleaders for my self worth. I have always struggled with feeling anything more than adequate, so this is nothing new. I will continue to work on this, but my questioning if I am really worthy of something better is not a recent occurrence. Given my track record, especially in the realm of relationships with the opposite sex, it is something I come by honestly. I had a dad who has never said he was proud of me and a stepdad who was verbally abusive, both alcoholics. My track record with men has been less than stellar. I have experienced a string of alcoholics, cheaters, liars, and those who had less than good intentions. I once saw the actress, Ellen Burstyn, on Oprah. She said she was a magnet for the wrong guy. She could stand in a room of 100 men. Ninety nine of those men could have been saints, and she was going to attract the one alcoholic beater in the room. I feel the same way about myself. If left to my own devices, I'm going to keep choosing the same unsavory character as if I'm still trying to work out that part of my childhood, even though I've gone to counseling twice (once in college and once during my divorce). Remember that my sister pointed me in the direction of my guy. They had worked together and she knew he was different than the string of my own choices.

This relationship has been the healthiest one I've ever had. Have there been problems? Yes, of course. I think that happens anytime you put two people together. There are things about this guy that infuriate me, as I am sure there are things about me that infuriate him. However, in general there have been more good times than bad. He has treated me well for the most part. Are there areas for improvement? Again the answer is yes, but I could improve in ways as well.

Many of you have said to listen to my heart and I will know what to do. The problem is that I don't know. I still really miss my guy. I do actually love him and enjoy being around him. I pointed out some of the commonalities in the past post, and I think generally that we made a good pair. And again, I think this is probably as good as it's going to get for me. I don't think settling for the best relationship I've been in is selling myself as short as it may seem. I don't believe in Prince Charming for me. My sister was able to break free of our dad past and found the most amazing man, but I have yet to get there and where I look out from life, I just don't foresee that happening for me. My guy and I have a relationship that for the most part works for us, at least 70% of the time, so why can't we reach consensus? At the end of the day, the things that seem to have driven us apart are not deal breakers. Why can't we make this work?

The answers to these questions are still elusive, which is why I have so many questions. I still feel that getting answers is probably unlikely. I have been shut out of my guy's life lately. I am trying to stay out of it as he has said he needs some space. I have become overwhelming with my amount of questions, and his work has gotten to be a burden. I totally get that if you really want to be in someone's life, you will be. There are things lately that have lead me to believe, this really won't last or work out. I also totally get that I'm allowed to want things for myself in a relationship, and I shouldn't apologize for wanting these things. I get that I don't have to be part of a couple to be whole, although it is nice when it is working well. It's one of those niceties in life versus a necessary. I did actually try to end things with my guy back in July when it seemed that he really didn't want the things that I wanted. I felt at peace about it and was ready to move on all by myself. However, we had a meeting, and he said he wanted the things that I wanted. He even brought up the possibility of a ring recently, which had previously been completely unthinkable for him. So why all the sudden changes? That's where most of the questions have stemmed from, but now he won't communicate and says he's not the guy for me. Again, I totally get that I shouldn't and don't want to be in someone's life who doesn't want me there or who doesn't want to be there for me. I do get all of these things.

But what if....

What if we could hit the reset button and create a different future together? Wouldn't that be ideal? I would do that. I would be willing to compromise or collaborate or work towards that 70% consensus rule. Couldn't we work towards finding peace together? If we could both give and take, wouldn't that be the ideal ending or new beginning? I would really like that. I really hate the thought of giving up without even trying. I thought we were trying to work things out, but then it ended abruptly. I didn't want to keep doing what we were doing, but I was trying to work the problem, not just have it be over.

Just so you all know, the answer to all of these questions is most likely moot at this point. In going public and sharing with more than one person, I have broken one of his cardinal rules. I have no idea if he has read any of this. I am sure that he will eventually, and when he does, he is not going to be pleased. He doesn't want struggles to be public, and he fears embarrassment and loss of credibility. He will see all of this as a breach of those things. I am sure that I have already sealed my own fate. Again, I totally get that I shouldn't want to be with someone who tries to control what I say or do.

I do know all of these things, and yet remain undecided. I guess I would just like a chance to try to make things better. Then if after we've tried a new plan and feel like we've exhausted all possibilities, things are still not going to work, then we can say at least we tried. Again, I don't know. I think he would say he did try things, and I asked too many questions. I really am at a loss, thus the blogging! : )

I love all of you for lovingly reminding me of all the things I have had questions about. I do so appreciate all of you. Maybe I will continue to make the time to write about things that are not as heavy-hearted!

Questions That Might be Better Left Unanswered

The guy I've been dating for the past 6 years recently broke up with me. I know the tendency in a break up is to look at the other person and assign blame. While I don't think he's blameless, I can't say that I am either. Yes, he was the one that ended it, but I wasn't happy either. I wanted to be, but the problem is that I wanted things that he didn't seem to want as well. He had said he did, especially recently, and then it seemed like maybe those things were just never going to happen and eventually drove us apart. Now he says he doesn't want those things and can't be that person for me. They weren't horrible things; they weren't highly demanding things. I just wanted to be more connected and to maybe someday receive a material symbol of our commitment to each other. I didn't want to be married or move in together. I just wanted a ring as a symbol of our togetherness. It didn't even have to be expensive. At first the connectedness seemed to be possible, although the ring was not something he felt like he could do. For a time, I felt like we were moving towards being more connected. Especially from the end of last year until about early June, I felt crazy in love with him, more than in the previous years of dating. There seemed to be hope that we could at least build a life together more than him being just a person I dated. That life didn't have to be the traditional plan a wedding, get married, move in together, etc. I realized a long time ago that I am not really cut out for the traditional relationship plan. The whole old white men telling the woman what to do, doesn't sit well with me. That was the beauty of this relationship is that he didn't want the traditional path either. I had hope that we could build our own future together outside the constraints of what others said was the path we were supposed to take. However, hope can be as destructive an item as much as a constructive item.

I'm not writing this article to assign blame to the other person. I don't think he's a malicious person or a bad person; things just went terribly wrong in a relatively short period of time. I don't think there was cheating. He didn't tell me I was stupid or worthless. It actually seems like the more I tried to fix things or figure things out, the worse it became. I feel as if I was almost in self-destruction mode.The more questions I had and the more I tried to seek the answers to those questions, the more of a nuisance I became until he basically had enough. I would have liked answers to these questions, but it is unlikely that I will ever receive them. This is the place where I get to ask them and just know that they have been asked and then I can move on.

Honestly at this point, I am really questioning my ability to ever have any type of successful relationship. Am I not the common denominator in all these relationships that haven't worked out? I understand that relationships take work and that there is no perfect relationship. I have been looking at friends lately and asking questions and examining what might make a relationship work. I am supposed to meet with my guy after the 19th to either bring closure to our relationship and/or decide how we want to move forward. I don't think reconciliation is possible. Should I even want reconciliation? I know many of my friends would say, "No." They say I deserve better. I can find someone who would be willing to give me the things that I want. But what if I already had better? What if I won't ever be able to find a guy who would be willing to give me the things that I want? What if I need to let go of the things that I wanted? What if this is as good as it gets for me? Is settling really the worst thing in the world? Don't I teach my students about collaboration, conflict resolution, and consensus? Those things take compromise and each team member does not get everything they want. It's about learning to live with what can be acceptable for each person at least at the 70% level. So if each person can feel satisfied with the decisions being made 70% of the time, then the group should agree and move forward. One hundred percent is not the goal, nor should it be.

I know what I just wrote is going to cause an uproar amongst many of my friends. One friend would point out that she has thought for a long time that I should not be with my guy. But she is also cute and young and has no children.She has a sweet guy. I love her dearly, but life looks very different at 28 than at 46 with 2 children and a failed marriage and pretty much every other relationship that ends up having a shelf life after a certain point. Other friends say that he could treat me better. What if I could treat him better as well? Does he have shortcomings, yes. He can be fairly oblivious with both time and how what he says and does affects me. He is not a planner and I am. I do feel like sometimes he says one thing but his actions don't say the same things. But I am not perfect either. I can be very rigid; I'm a perfectionist. When I feel wronged or hurt, I can sometimes hold on to that for far too long. I think I come off as neurotic quite often. I have fairly severe OCD and struggle with massive amounts of anxiety. He has said that anxiety can be off-putting. I think a lot of what the problem is for right now, past the inability to give me the things that I want, that I cannot let go of the questions in my mind about some things that have occurred lately. Then he feels put on the defensive because I am constantly questioning what is happening. Yet, are any of these things deal breakers? Are any of these reasons for us to move on to other people? Do I want to even date someone else again? Won't I just choose the same person as my dad or ex-husband, who were most definitely not good? I'm pretty sure that if left to my own devices I'm going to choose someone who going to be a guy like that. I don't trust myself to choose the right person. My sister choose my guy this time around. I think that's why it lasted so long and was probably the healthiest relationship I've ever had. I don't think I have what it takes to choose a guy who would want to commit to me the way I might ever want. I don't know how people choose those right people. It is not something within my skill set.

As I've looked at other relationships and asked people questions, what I've discovered is that even the relationships that look rock solid have ups and downs. Two different couples I know who have been married at least 20 years have said, it really is just about both not giving up at the same time. I have heard that they have seen each other through some dark times and worked through the problems enough and that they made it through together. I have really struggled with the just giving up part of this whole thing. I have always been the person that wants to continue to fix it. But I also know that if only one person wants to make it work, that not enough in a relationship. If my guy and I were married, would we keep working to stay together? Would we be able to reach some kind of compromise or consensus? Should we work for these things? Is there really someone out there who would choose me? Is there someone who would still love me and want to be around me through my anxiety-ridden episodes where I question the whole world? Will I ever be worth the risk for someone? What if my story isn't a fully committed relationship? What if this is as good as it gets for me? Can I accept this person at least 70% of the time? I don't know. I seriously doubt that these things are for me. I think they are for other people, but not for me.

We have had some really good times together. We both love hiking and recently climbed a 14,000' mountain together, which was a monumental day. We used to do karate together and are both black belts, although he has said he is no longer interested in continuing with karate. We are both educators, so we speak a lot of the same language. We have a common band that we love and have attended many concerts to see them that have always been a highlight. We have traveled well together. There are more good memories than bad.

What if I took all of my wants off the table? What if we could forge a new future together? Would he even want to? I kind of don't think so, but I wish that he would be willing to at least entertain some of these ideas. I would love to have a conversation after the 19th that was calm and reasonable and could set a tone of where we maybe could go from here. I do really miss him, but when I recently sent him a text to tell him so, his answer wasn't reciprocal. I think I have exhausted him with my me-ness. I love him, but is it at the point where love and hope are just at the destructive stage?

I'm always nervous releasing these posts into the world, but they seem to be a way for me to reach resolution for myself. I obviously don't write that often. The last couple of posts are more from when I have hit a bottom, and I have no other outlet but to write it out. I know I could just not publish these posts, but that doesn't give me resolution. I'm nervous about what will happen in the release of this post. My guy is not a fan of social media and will not be pleased that I have disclosed any of these things, but I figure he's already gone and hasn't been willing to work these things out with me. I have resorted to what works for me. There is also the fear of vulnerability in releasing these most private of thoughts. I like to appear strong and put together, but I'm human like anyone else and writing and releasing these thoughts into the world is what gives me peace. Finally, I fear all the comments that people will be making. I'm such a people pleaser that I worry about who I may have offended by writing these words. I'm sorry if I have somehow offended you by writing what I have written. I'm not writing to be malicious or hurtful. It's my way of processing my world. Please be gentle with any comments you may have. Thank you for reading.

What's the Plan?

I 

A friend posted this picture on Facebook the other day. I laughed out loud when I saw it because I can completely identify. I have spent a good part of the last nine months in that same spot as the guy in the boat. I am down in the pit, stuck in the water, and I don't even seem to have a paddle with which to propel myself in any direction and it appears that if I did, I would just meet slippery slope on either side. How am I ever going to move myself forward or dig myself out???

I know I am supposed to trust God and his plan for my life. "¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) I understand this with my head and with my heart, but being an extreme planner and a bit of a control freak, it is hard to just sit still with this and not want to go, go, go, and do, do, do. 

I recently heard Rick Warren (author of The Purpose Driven Life) on The View of all places saying that when we pray the Lord's Prayer we should really focus on the part that says, "Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven." God's will is always done in heaven, but rarely on earth. We humans always want to have our hands in the pie. 

I know I am supposed to be still and not to worry.... just rest in the Lord. Yet my ego seems to get in the way often. I am a doer, a planner, a move forward at all costs kind of person. I am rarely still and telling me not to worry is like telling the sun not to rise in the east. My life verse has always been Philippians 4:6-7

⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.(NIV) I know these things. I can do these things. I have been praying and petitioning for days now.

I am about to go to an interview as an instructional coach for a local school district for their virtual academy. I would be lying if I didn't say that I want this job so badly! I have been searching for a long time. Mostly since July when I the teaching assistant job I was doing online was eliminated. I loved teaching online. I just love being an educator. It is not that I am not thankful for my housecleaning business. It has sustained us for almost 12 years now. But I am so ready to get back into education full time again. I am teacher at heart. I was that nerdy kid that did my homework first thing every afternoon and wanted to play school with my friends instead of playing games or running around outside. 

In my typical thought patterns,  I always think what would Elizabeth Gilbert do in this situation. She would pray or actually meditate. I have not even begun to attempt meditation yet, but prayer is second nature. Ever since one of my old camp instructors reminded me years ago that God is always with us. We don't need to pray, "God be with us." We can pray, "Thank you God for always being near, or Help us to really feel your presence." Prayer for me is a constant inner dialog or conversation with God. I have been talking non-stop to God since Tuesday morning when I received the call for the interview. 

The other thing Liz Gilbert would do is to actually write out her prayer. In Chapter 14 Eat, Pray, Love, she wrote about writing out an actual prayer to God to help in the resolution of her divorce. She and her friend the "signed it" in their hearts. 

Here is my prayer: 

Dear God,

I know I don't have to tell you how much I really want this instructional coach position, but I am going to say it again anyway. With that being said, I must also say that I want your will to be done in my life. Whatever the outcome of this interview, I will continue to try to walk the path that you have for my life. But I do believe that I am perfectly suited for this job. I am a teacher's teacher. I want to continue to serve you, by serving others. This is a job where I can use all the previous experiences in my life to help others to learn and grow and be their best selves. I also believe that I will learn and grow in the process of  helping these teachers. I have the heart of a teacher and want to share that with others. If it is truly your will that I land this job, please give me the right words to say in there. Make my heart calm and really let me feel your presence. I know you will be right beside me. I thank you for all that I have gone through up to this point even though the last year or so has really been a struggle. I know it has all made me stronger. You only have my best interests in mind. Thank you for loving me and guiding me. 

Amen

I have signed this in my heart and I am sure my readers will too. I can think of all of those friends and family who have sent me texts, Facebook messages, calls and hugs. I am truly a blessed soul!

Off I go...

A New Resume'

 I have been working to work. In 2013, I lost 2 of my 4 jobs and have been working hard ever since to find supplemental income. I had been housecleaning, working as a caregiver for my handicapped sister, teaching online as a teaching assistant for Ashford University, and helping to care for my niece and nephew.

In late June, Ashford eliminated the entire teaching assistant position. We were told during what would be our last class, and when that course was finished, we were just done working. It was a pretty hard blow as I had never experienced a position just going away before.

At about the same time, my sister who is the mother of my niece and nephew had received approval from her principal to go down to a half time position. I was so happy for her and her ability to spend extra time with her children and do what was best for her family, but it was a double whammy for me financially.

I had been looking since late December of 2012 at our local school district and went on a total of 5 interviews but only for teacher librarian positions and did not receive any offers of employment. I have tried to get the teacher librarian endorsement through the Colorado Department of Education, but it is a long story and basically they will not endorse me in that area at this time even though my master's degree in Instructional Technology almost exactly matches the degree program that is offered by the only "state approved" program at the University of Colorado, Denver, even though it says that it is "offered, but not yet approved." I will have to submit a program approval if I ever want it to be considered and that is a lot of work. I am not unwilling to do the work, but frustration set in and I had to step away from it for a while.

I was never called for interviews for Elementary or English/Language Arts positions even though I hold endorsements in both of those areas as well as School Librarian, which is not the same as Teacher Librarian in the particular school district in which I was applying. I applied for 71 jobs in the district between December and September. Then I had to take a break.

I have also been applying for many online and/or other on-ground jobs for teaching, instructional design, training, libraries, and curriculum development. I think sometimes, the places already have someone in mind or that there are 100 other applicants for every job, so I needed to do something different to make myself stand out. Most of the time, I never hear from anyone. I have received some "thanks for applying letters, but we went with someone else." I have had no interviews or even offers of interviews.

In early January, I did a Pinterest search to find resume' ideas. I pinned quite a few items. I even contacted someone on there who had professional resume services, but he wanted $1500.00 to do a resume' for me, very much out of my price range. So once again, I empowered myself! I found one that was done by a technology teacher and she had blogged about it, so I read her information, printed out a copy of her resume and went to work.

This is what I came up with!

(For this published version, I excluded my phone number and the names of my testimonials people. Those things do appear on the resume' I send for job applications.)

 

 
The one that I found on Pinterest was only one page, but if I wanted mine to be readable, I had to do 2 pages. My words only resume' is 4 pages, so this one is faster and gave a visual of what I am capable of doing rather than just words, words, words.


What I had been reading said that most people only spend about 10 seconds looking over each resume' the first time around. I wanted to have something that would stick in peoples' minds quickly and be remembered.

Here is the one I used as my example.

 

Just like Ms. Otto's, I used Microsoft Publisher to make my resume. I looked up all of the technology icons and logos online. I took pictures of my wordle and my license and certification. Even though, I have never met Anna Otto, I will be forever grateful for her inspiration. If you want to see the article that inspired me, you can click Techie Teacher to go to her website.

I have been especially busy in the past month applying for new jobs and using my new resume'. I have been moving along with Colorado Christian University and received an email the other day for one of the four positions for which I applied that said there had been a large response to the professor job and they were still reviewing materials and would let us know when interviews would be scheduled. They haven't forgotten us, me! I also received an offer from Connections Academy to do a digital interview, which I will do this weekend. I haven't ever done a digital interview. It isn't just a Skype session. I will use my webcam to record my answers and then many hiring managers will have access to it. I guess I will have to blog about that as well!

I know God has a plan for me and I just have to be willing to keep on moving forward and trusting He will take care of me. The waiting has been hard, but I will just keep swimming!

Chairs Redone Too!

 

To go with my new table, I wanted to redo the four chairs I already had. I had found these chairs years ago at a thrift store. They were $30 for all four chairs. My sister bought them for me for my birthday.

I didn't dislike the old seat covers. The blue and white farm print was right up my alley. However, I wanted to spruce them up. I repainted them when I was doing the other chairs and the table legs.

Then I used some of the polka dot fabric I had on hand and that I just love. I also had some laminating material to make them waterproof.

I bought the laminating sheeting at Joann's.

It was really easy to iron it onto the fabric.

Here is the fabric after the sheeting is on.

I did four different colors for extra fun.

Black

Pink

Blue

Green

A Table Redone

I have been wanting a round table for several years now. I have had my eye out at flea markets and garage sales; never quite finding what I wanted. My mom even gave me some money and a gift card to Ikea for Christmas last year, but I hadn't gotten around to purchasing the table I thought I wanted. I must have mentioned something to my next door neighbor at one point because when she bought a new table, she offered me her old round one. I asked if it was okay if I painted it and she said I could do whatever I wanted with it; they were all finished!

The round table before I painted it.

My old tile top table.

A couple of months ago, she and her husband brought it over and it sat on the patio or in the garage for the summer.

Nothing was wrong with my old table. It was a small rectangular, tile-top table. I thought a round would go better in the space I have, and it was a table I had from when I was married. Truthfully, I just didn't want it anymore. 

One of the chairs my sister acquired!

Meanwhile, my sister found some chairs in someone's trash. (Please note: she is not usually a dumpster diver, but these were nice chairs and she couldn't just leave them there.) They happened to match my old table perfectly. She offered them to me and I never turn down free, so I took them.

A couple of weeks after acquiring a whole set of chairs (that I didn't really need) that were nice and went perfectly with the table (that I didn't really want) that was also nice, I was talking to one of my housecleaning clients. She said they were purchasing a house for their daughter to live in at college and were going to go thrifting for furniture. I told her about my old table and the new to me chairs and said their daughter could have them. They came in mid-July and picked them up and then I had a big empty space in my house for the next several months.

This is what my housecleaning client's daughter did with my old table. She did awesome too; I think!

 











For fun I posted on Facebook about my round table and the desire to paint it. I had originally thought I would paint just white on the whole thing, but since I had this table that I could do whatever I wanted with, maybe I should get creative! People threw out some suggestions and then a small debate ensued between one of my cousins who said wood, especially oak, should never be painted, and an interior designer/furniture refinisher friend of mine, who most certainly thought that it should be painted. Leaving it as is was never what I wanted and I certainly didn't mean to cause a discussion! It was amusing to watch the comments fly back and forth! Who knew people could get so passionate about painting a table??

The table repainted.

I settled on this awesome aqua/turquoise color that I found at True Value. It is officially called Big Easy. I painted the legs and the two chairs, my neighbors also gave me, white with basic white spray paint. 

One of the two chairs that went with the table. 

Also painted white.

They gave me the two leaves, so I can make the table bigger when we need.

It turned out exactly like I wanted and really does fit much better in the space than the rectangular table!