Eat, Pray, Love

How much do I love this book?

 I cannot even begin to say all the ways this book has touched my heart. It is ironic because I had put off reading it for a while, especially after seeing the movie. The movie is all right, but she comes off as fairly selfish, and I just could not understand how she walked away from her marriage like she did. In the book, of course, she goes into so much more detail and her journey is so self-revelatory that I can see where she is coming from much better. I still think that I would have stuck with my marriage if I were her, even though it was not the best relationship, but having gone through a sad and painful divorce myself, I do also understand why she would not want to be married anymore. One thing Liz Gilbert says is that she would rather live an imperfect life of her own rather than a perfect version of someone else's idea of her life. I know that feeling myself, especially as someone who grew up Christian and even though my husband was unfaithful, I have been shunned by people in the church because of my marital status. I would have saved my own marriage had it been possible, but my husband had no desire to repair things and you cannot have a relationship with only one person. I have had people suggest that I could have/should have done more before and after the end of the marriage.

When I was a little girl, my mom brought home this Sandi Patti cassette tape, and we listened to it mostly in the car on long road trips. It was a live concert Sandi Patti gave and in it she went through her own musical history of different people she wanted to be like when she grew up such as Karen Carpenter or Barbara Streisand. She sang different versions of Jesus Loves Me  as if she were one of these great singers. She said, "I didn't just want to be like Barbara Streisand; I wanted to BE Barbara Streisand!" And then she proceeded to sing Jesus Loves Me as if she were singing People. Well, I don't want to just be like Liz Gilbert; I want to BE Liz Gilbert!

I don't mean that I want to travel to three different countries in a year to find pleasure, God, and balance in my life. I do like to travel, but I don't like to be away from home for that long. I also could not practically be gone from my home and children for a year either. What I do want to be is someone who shares her life with others in the hopes that some life lessons could be passed on. I haven't always lived the easiest life, but I believe that I have been through what I have been through in order to be more empathetic to and for others. Liz Gilbert is so raw and honest in her book. She talks about so many of the things that I have been searching for in my life, especially when she speaks of finding God, cultivating relationships, and finding purpose in her life. I don't know; maybe I am not really all that knowledgeable or interesting, but I do know that ever since I started this blog all I want to write about is personal versus housecleaning or parenting tips, which were my original topics of intent.

I have not written as much as I want because I keep stopping myself. I hesitate because I am afraid... afraid of being judged, afraid of giving away too much personal information, and afraid that I am really not all that interesting or that others really don't want or need to read about my personal reflections on this life so far. 

I would say a word of caution to those considering reading this book. If you are not interested in finding out more about yourself, I would not recommend this book. I am not saying that with any sarcasm. If you are truly happy with who you are and don't have a wandering, seeking, or searching mind, I just do not think that you would get as much out of this book. In addition, if you are someone who is extremely conservative in your religious views and do not have an open mind as to ways to communicate with and/or find God, then I think you might be offended by some of her thoughts on these topics.

I am on my third time through in less than a month, and each time, I have an aha moment about something new. I will think about whether I want to share more about myself and how that might manifest itself in this blog. However, I would love to write and/or publish a book someday just like Liz Gilbert!